Bonding in a Bar: Post Scene to Mother
by Mulderette
Summary: Callen and Deeks share a late night conversation in the bar after the events of "Mother."


Just getting out my thoughts on ECO's wonderful episode this past week. Thanks to Bluenet13 for her suggestions and thanks to all of you for reading.

xxxxx

"_Hetty? How many of us are there?"_

Callen waited for a few minutes but only got silence. He then slowly walked away from Hetty's desk, hopeful that she would call him back to answer his question and talk to him some more...but she didn't. He left OPS and went out into the alleyway where his car was parked. Once inside, he just sat there, his mind going in a million different directions. Finally, he put the key in the ignition and pulled out of the alley. He debated on calling Sam, but he wasn't even sure what he would say to him. He knew his partner was already worried about him and he didn't want to give him any more cause for concern. He headed in the direction of Deeks' bar and arrived a short while later. It was after closing so he unlocked the door and walked into the bar. It was something he found himself doing sometimes after tough cases and today had been a doozy for sure. He liked being there by himself. It was quiet and peaceful and a good place to get his head on straight. He went behind the bar and poured himself a shot of Jack Daniels which he gulped down. He then poured himself another, pulled out his wallet and threw some bills down on the bar before taking a seat on a barstool. All he wanted to do was forget about the events of the day, but somehow, he didn't think all the alcohol in the world would accomplish that.

xxxxx

"Deeks?" Kensi rolled over in bed and found her husband to be missing.

"Hey, baby, sorry. I didn't mean to wake you," Deeks said from where he was standing, looking out the bedroom window. He came back to their bed and sat on the edge of it.

"Are you okay?" Kensi sat up and looked at him with concern.

"I'm fine… I just thought I'd go to the bar and finish up the inventory sheets."

"Okay." Kensi nodded. She knew he didn't really need to do that, but she also knew that the bar had become a haven of sorts for him. She didn't even ask if he wanted her to come along with him. She knew if he wanted to talk to her, there would be no reason for him to leave.

"Hey." Deeks gently stroked the side of her face. "I just need to clear my head." He kissed her then got to his feet. "I'll be back soon. I promise."

"I'll keep the bed warm for you." Kensi smiled and laid back down again. "I love you."

"I love you too, baby."

xxxxx

Callen immediately went on alert when he heard the door at the entrance of the bar creak open. He stood up and tensely reached for his gun, sighing when he saw Deeks enter. "Deeks, what the hell are you doing here?" he asked as he put his gun away.

"Well, I do own the place," Deek stated calmly, his eyes going to the empty shot glass and bills in front of where Callen had been sitting.

Callen nodded. "I'll get out of your hair then."

"Whoa, come on man. I didn't say you had to leave. What are you drinking?" Deeks walked behind the bar and pulled out two clean shot glasses.

"Jack," Callen replied as he sat back down.

Deeks nodded and poured two shots then pushed one of the glasses towards Callen. "On the house."

"Thanks." Callen looked down at the glass but made no move to drink it. He then raised his eyes to look at Deeks. "Are you okay?"

"Me? Yeah, why? Oh you mean that little near death experience?" Deeks grinned flippantly. "That was all in a day's work."

Callen stared back at Deeks, unsmiling.

"I'm fine," Deeks said seriously after a pause. "Really."

"Everyone always says they're fine, " Callen said, gulping down the shot Deeks had given him, "but no one really is." Deeks reached for the bottle of Jack Daniels, but Callen shook his head. "No thanks. I've had enough."

"Hey man...I really am fine…"

Callen nodded, but said nothing.

"Listen, I have no idea where your head's at right now, but if you want to talk…"

"Why did you become a cop?" Callen changed the subject abruptly as he gazed back at Deeks, his eyes intense.

"Um what?" Deeks asked, confused at the question, wondering where it was coming from.

"Why did you become a cop?" Callen asked again. "You went to law school. You were a lawyer, but you dropped all that and became a cop. Why?"

Deeks hesitated as he thought about the question, then shrugged. "I just wanted to protect people. Being a cop gave me a way to help people, to really make a difference. It gave me purpose. When I was practicing law, so many people got off on technicalities. When I was out on the streets, I tried to make sure that didn't happen."

Callen nodded. That made sense. "Would you ever go back to practicing law?"

"It's a possibility. Maybe someday down the road," Deeks said thoughtfully. "I certainly would never be one of those high-priced lawyers who helps the rich sleazeballs in the world. I'd defend the people I really believed in, whether or not they could afford a lawyer." He shrugged. "It would certainly be a safer career path for whenever Kensi and I decide to have children."

"You'd be good at that, Deeks. It's a sound plan..."

"Well, it's not a plan at the moment, just some vague ideas. What about you?" Deeks broached the question cautiously, knowing Callen was likely to just close up and not say another word. "Have you ever thought about doing anything else?"

Callen was silent for a few long moments and then slowly began to talk, the whiskey seeming to help loosen his tongue. "When I was a kid, I was mostly just focused on surviving. I never really thought too much about the future except to the extent that I'd be free of all the people in the world who tried to hurt or control me. When I grew up, I'd finally be on my own."

"And then Hetty took you in…"

"Yeah… then Hetty took me in… and my path was pretty much dictated by her, by what she thought was best for me…it seemed like a good fit for me and now here I am and you guys are all my family…" He knew he could resent Hetty for bringing him into a dangerous and unpredictable career path, but what would have happened to him if she hadn't taken him in? He likely would have fallen into some kind of gang and could have been killed before he even reached adulthood. College definitely would have been out of his reach. Who knows what would have become of him? Certainly nothing good.

"So, no regrets?"

"Regrets?" Callen asked, his eyes sad as he shrugged. "I don't know, Deeks. Would I have liked to have had a wife and kids? Maybe, probably…" _A family would have been nice. He would have loved to go home to them at the end of the day, to have a real family, something he'd never really had. Even his life with Hetty wasn't exactly what he would have called a typical family._ "Would I have been worried about them every minute of every day? Definitely." _He'd seen too much of the dark side of the world over the years. He didn't know if he could ever see past that to bring children into the world. _"You and Kensi, you make it work. I give the two of you a lot of credit. I'm not sure I ever could have done that."

"You could if it's what you really want." Deeks really did feel bad for Callen. Sometimes the guy just seemed so alone. He would like to see him find someone. It seemed like every time he did though, it just didn't work out. For himself, he was so grateful that he and Kensi had found each other. She was a true partner in every sense of the word and he loved her more than life itself. He wished Callen could find a love like that. It would do him good.

"It's too late for me now."

"It's never too late, man. Trust me on that. Love can happen anywhere, anytime...sometimes when you least expect it. I never thought it would happen for me either, but then Tracy walked into my life, and the rest is history." Deeks smiled fondly, remembering Kensi's alias when they first met.

"I guess," Callen said, unconvinced. He really didn't think it would happen in his lifetime. His course was set. He didn't see it changing any time soon. Plus, he didn't trust easily. To find someone to love, who he trusted implicitly, that was a monumental task in his eyes. He yawned then, suddenly very tired. He didn't feel like talking anymore. He'd already said much more than he'd wanted to. "I think I'm going to head upstairs to bed. Do you need help with anything here?"

Deeks shook his head. "No, I just came here to be by myself for a while. I like it here."

"I'm sorry if I spoiled that for you," Callen said sincerely.

"Not at all," Deeks assured him. "I'm glad we got this chance to talk."

"Yeah, me too," Callen said as he got to his feet and moved to pick up the shot glasses on the bar.

Deeks quickly shook his head. "'I've got it, Callen. Seriously, go get some rest." He then moved to push the bills Callen had left toward him.

"Keep them, Deeks," Callen said, a fleeting smile on his face. "You earned more than that talking to me tonight."

"Friends don't take money for talking," Deeks said earnestly.

Callen gazed back at the younger man then picked up the money from the bar, not wanting to insult him. "You are a good friend, Deeks. Next round is on me. And as for this talking thing...if you ever want to talk about what happened today...or anything at all...I'm always available… and I know the same goes for Sam."

Deeks nodded. "You've got yourself a deal.. Now, go get some sleep."

"Good night, Deeks...thanks for everything...you get some rest too."

"You're welcome, Callen, I will. Good night."

Deeks watched as Callen went through the doorway leading to the stairs to his apartment, then picked up the shot glasses and brought them out to the sink. After that, he took one last look around the bar and headed for the exit. He suddenly had an irresistible urge to go home, take his wife in his arms and tell her just how much he loved her.


End file.
